Ask these before the room talks you into the date

The date, the space, and the money

Get these in writing before you put a deposit on a Saturday you cannot move.

1. 1

   Is our date actually open, and until when will you hold it?

   A verbal hold is not a date. Ask what the hold costs and when it expires.

2. 2

   What is the total for our guest count, not the starting price?

   Ask for the room, the food and drink minimum, service charge, tax, and anything billed per person.

3. 3

   What is the food and beverage minimum, and what counts toward it?

   Some minimums exclude tax, cake, or a cash bar. Ask what happens if you miss it.

4. 4

   Which fees are not in the pretty number on the website?

   Cake cutting, ceremony fee, valet, coat check, security, and a required coordinator are the usual ones.

5. 5

   How much is the deposit, when is the balance due, and is any of it refundable?

   Ask what you get back if you cancel at 12 months, 6 months, and 30 days.

6. 6

   Can we see a contract before we decide?

   Read the overtime, cancellation, and 'act of God' sections while you are still free to walk away.

Food, drink, and the people eating

1. 1

   Is catering in-house, or can we bring our own?

   If it is exclusive, you are buying their kitchen. If it is not, ask which caterers they have actually worked with.

2. 2

   Can we taste the menu we would serve?

   Taste the guest plate, including the vegetarian one, not a chef's special that never hits the tables.

3. 3

   How do you handle allergies and kids' meals?

   Ask whether those plates count toward the minimum, and how a table server knows who ordered what.

4. 4

   What bar packages exist, and when does the bar close?

   Ask about the last-call time, whether wine on the table counts, and what a cash bar does to the room.

5. 5

   Is there a cake-cutting fee, and can we bring a dessert from outside?

   Some venues charge even when you bring the cake. Ask before an aunt offers to bake.

6. 6

   When is the final headcount due, and what do you do with no-shows?

   You are often paying for the number you submit, not the number who sit down.

Time, rules, and the shape of the day

1. 1

   What time can we get in, and what time must we be out?

   Build the timeline backward from the hard out, not forward from a wish.

2. 2

   How long do we have the ceremony space, and is it a separate fee?

   Some rooms flip from ceremony to dinner. Ask how long that flip takes and who does it.

3. 3

   Is there a noise curfew or a music rule?

   Bands, DJs, and even a playlist on a speaker can be limited after a certain hour. Ask about outdoor sound.

4. 4

   Can we have a ceremony and a reception on site?

   If the ceremony is elsewhere, ask about guest travel time and whether the room waits.

5. 5

   What does overtime cost, and who is allowed to approve it?

   Name the person. A well-meaning parent should not be able to add an hour by accident.

6. 6

   Are there quiet hours for set-up the day before?

   Ask about load-in, especially if you have rentals arriving Friday night.

Weather, backup, and the actual room

1. 1

   If we marry outside, where do we go if it rains, and who decides?

   Walk the backup. Ask the latest time you can choose, and whether the backup holds fewer people.

2. 2

   Can we see the space at the same time of day as our wedding?

   A room at noon and a room at 6 p.m. are different rooms. Look at the light and the noise from the street.

3. 3

   What is included in the room: tables, chairs, linens, china, glassware?

   Anything missing becomes a rental. Ask to see the real chairs, not a photo.

4. 4

   How many people fit seated for dinner, and how many for a ceremony?

   Ask them to show a floor plan at your guest count, not the maximum the fire marshal allows.

5. 5

   Is there a step-free path from parking to the ceremony, dinner, and a bathroom?

   Walk it. Stairs that 'most people can manage' are a no for someone you love.

6. 6

   Where do guests park, and is there a cost?

   Valet minimums and a lot that closes at 10 are both common surprises.

Vendors, insurance, and the contract

1. 1

   Which vendors do we have to use, and which can we bring?

   Photographers, cake, rentals, and officiants are the usual arguments. Get the preferred list and the banned list.

2. 2

   Do our vendors need insurance certificates, and by when?

   Ask the amount. Your photographer may already have it. A friend with a speaker may not.

3. 3

   Where do vendors load in, and is there a service elevator?

   A string quartet and a dozen rental tables need a door that is not the lobby at guest-arrival time.

4. 4

   Is there a getting-ready room, and for how long?

   Ask about outlets, mirrors, a bathroom, and whether hair and makeup artists can work there.

5. 5

   Can we have candles, sparks, or anything with a flame?

   Many rooms ban open flame and cold sparklers both. Ask before you plan a send-off.

6. 6

   Who is our contact on the day, and will we have met them?

   The salesperson is often not the person with the radio. Ask to meet the day-of manager.